I’m at the Mobil station, and I see what looks like a Parole Agent gassing up. Now, the Parole Agent I had for most of my parole was a total asshole, doing things like putting me on house arrest for nine months because I was peacefully protesting my treatment by North Central College (a move that was overturned when I appealed to the Parole Board, but only after seven of the nine months had passed), giving me a hard time about going to the Doctor, pleading ignorance about mistakes on my rap sheet, and just generally being a rude jagoff.
So, I go up to this guy and ask him if he’s a Parole Agent. I was going to tell him to give my former agent the message that he can get fucked, but as we started to talk, this guy was speaking in a way that most in his position don’t, with intelligence and candor.
It turns out that this guy used to be a Correctional Officer at Stateville, and he was there at the same time I was. He had known a few of the prisoners that I knew, Eisenberg for one, and he was tight with a Hell’s Angel I was friends with. The main thing was that this guy understood the absolutely horrific situation he and I had both been in. It was life or death, every fucking day, for anyone in there. A man had to actually back up anything he said or did. I asked him if that experience affected him now, the way he looked at things, the way he lived his life, the way he conducted himself. Yes, on all counts.
I told him how hard it is for me to find anyone that can comprehend the enormity of it all. How practically no one can understand it. He knew.
And on top of that, he related to me how he treats people in his job with courtesy, respect, and compassion, giving me examples of various situations and problems he’s dealt with. He noted how a lot of cops act like complete assholes, not having the knowledge or experience that he and I both have. We also discussed just how full of shit so many authority figures are. We were in complete agreement on everything.
I was glad I met this guy, it showed me that I’m not the only one to see how it really is. It gave me perspective of the situation, like a calming breath, knowing that another person out here knows what the fuck is really going on in the twilight between the naive world most people inhabit and the ugly reality just beneath the surface.